Writer Peter Egan Follows Hank’s Last Ride

Brody Vercher | December 5th, 2008

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  1. [...] off) the awesome “turn a country song into a haiku” idea popularized by The 9513 here and originated by Chris N. here. . Model [...]
  1. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 11:37 am

    I’m glad my haiku artistry has not been forgotten.

  2. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 11:45 am

    OK, now I’m contemplating writing a poetry book consisting of nothing but haikus based on George Jones songs. See what you think about these:

    She thinks I still care
    If you notice the subtext,
    You’ll find she is right.

    I know I told you
    I don’t need your rockin’ chair
    But dammit, I’m tired.

  3. Brady Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 11:49 am

    Just to watch him die
    I shot a man in Reno
    Now I’m blue in jail

    Or sub the first line with: Mom taught me better OR Ain’t got no freedom

  4. CountryMusicIsLove
    December 5, 2008 at 11:51 am

    Thanks for linking us for the DB video – you guys are the best!

  5. Brody Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 11:53 am

    I made some choices
    One was drinking alcohol
    It is killing me

  6. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 11:55 am

    If you have heard me
    Anthropomorphize my house
    You’ve had the grand tour

  7. Brody Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Props for dropping a word like “anthropomorphize.”

  8. Kelly
    December 5, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    My tractor sexy
    She is turned on by it now
    I throw up in mouth

  9. Blake Boldt
    December 5, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    Pappy’s brand of brew
    Causes chemical results
    We call white lightning

    We’re blessed with the gift
    Of country music legends
    Their shoes can’t be filled

  10. Kelly
    December 5, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Oh my Elvira
    Elvira my heart on fire
    Giddiup maw maw

  11. Kelly
    December 5, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    This aint Mexico
    I am a sad has-been hack
    Desperate for work

  12. Brady Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Is that one autobiographical?

  13. Blake Boldt
    December 5, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Her name’s a secret
    While she cheats on her husband
    I die if we’re caught

    Love’s a Nascar race
    With no checkered flag for me
    She ran off with him

    We’re not the jet set
    With money for long travel
    But love’s all we need

  14. Brody Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    The cowboy in me
    Wait, that sounds like a bad porn
    You’re a cowboy, too

  15. Kelly
    December 5, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    “Is that one autobiographical?”

    Why you gotta play me like that? What did I do to you?? I was merely using the poem to not only interpret the Jewell song, but to illuminate what he was likely feeling/thinking when he performed the track…

  16. TAYERS
    December 5, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    My girlfriend got saved
    I wanna beat up Jesus
    ‘Cause now I’m single

  17. Brady Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Kelly:

    I’m only joshin’
    I just couldn’t help myself
    Like stealin’ candy

  18. Brody Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    I hate Kern River
    The water was just too fast
    Where I lost my girl

    Beer is my breakfast
    And I wish I was stoned ’cause
    Sunday is lonely

  19. Nashville4U
    December 5, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    It’s not often you see haiku’s on country music websites haha.

  20. Chris D.
    December 5, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    Wow, that Neko artwork is really cool! A friend recommended her to me, so I guess I’ll get her upcoming album, just because of the cover, and from what I’ve heard of her, I’ll love the music. xD

  21. Mike K
    December 5, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Well, it is raining
    Crying, my eyes blue like rain
    Heaven will be great

  22. Mike K
    December 5, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Excuse me, my chair
    Sure, you can sit next to me
    Wait, it’s not my chair

  23. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    I am “The Fireman”
    It’s a metaphor, you see,
    Means I’m good in bed

  24. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Why’d you name me Sue?
    Now I have to kill you, Dad
    Nah, I guess I won’t

  25. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    Hundred-year-old man
    On the TV said, “Don’t blink”
    But my eyes dried out

  26. Trailer
    December 5, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    He had a girl name
    So he whipped his daddy’s ass
    I’d just change my name

  27. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    When I say to you
    “I want to check you for ticks”
    That means “feel you up”

  28. Trailer
    December 5, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Agh Chris beat me to it.

  29. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Heh, heh, heh. Another speed-haiku triumph for the kid here.

  30. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Whiskey for my men
    Just hay for the horses, please
    They’re drunk already

  31. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Come on, bob that head!
    What? I don’t mean it that way
    Where are you going?

  32. Mike K
    December 5, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Lonesome, On’ry, Mean
    Who is that playin so loud?
    Must be damn Shooter

  33. J.R. Journey
    December 5, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Mama’s he’s crazy
    Now he’s in Texas a jail
    What’s so wrong with me?

    All my ex girlfriends
    Still live in the Lonestar state
    So I don’t go there

    Mama named me Fancy
    Said ‘to thine own self be true’
    Before she sold me

  34. J.R. Journey
    December 5, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Chris N. is the country song haiku king. Hail, Chris N.

  35. Leeann Ward
    December 5, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Can’t. Stop. Laughing!

  36. Rick
    December 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Neko Case is crouching on the hood of a Mercury Cougar even though Mercury did offer a Cyclone model during the same time period (late 60′s to early 70′s)! Shame on you Neko for false advertising! (lol)

    The Hank Williams article is very well done. Now if only Hunter S. Thompson had been a country music fan and made the same pilgrimage…

    George Jones is truly the country heartbreak song king, although Hank Williams gives him a run for the money. I’m staying out of this haiku business.

    Trailer, another fine job at PhotoCrap but I will beg Brody to refrain from sharing any of the “revised” song titles in advance here at The 9513 as it takes out the element of surprise. Its kind of like telling the punchline at the start of a joke.

  37. Mike Parker
    December 5, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Baby likes to rock it
    Like a boogie woogie train
    with a big caboose

  38. Mike Parker
    December 5, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Mama He’s Crazy
    I guess you are crazy too
    uh oh, so am I

  39. Mike Parker
    December 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    sometimes I feel like
    a dog on a truck’s toolbox
    But mostly I don’t

  40. Jim Malec
    December 5, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    I swear, James Bonamy get way too much press on this website…

  41. Mike Parker
    December 5, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    um…your cheating heart
    just came by to tell on you
    now it won’t shut up

  42. Brody Vercher
    December 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    @Rick – I chose a few of my favorites as a teaser to give people an idea what they’d find. Not everyone who reads has been around as long as you and I figured a few examples might give newer visitors, who may not be aware of Photocrap, incentive to click through.

  43. Brad Beheler
    December 5, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Brody,

    You are correct. Tonight is the RRB’s first ever trip to the Opry. They are super pumped for it, and even more excited that it’s at the Ryman instead of the commercialized new home. Talked to Randy today…they are beyond excited.

  44. Guy
    December 5, 2008 at 5:59 pm
  45. Chris N.
    December 5, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Gunpowder and lead?
    Hey wait, that makes a bullet
    Oh, crap! Watch out, Blake!

  46. Trailer
    December 5, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    Thanks for the link. I always appreciate the support, Brody.

  47. Mike Parker
    December 6, 2008 at 9:52 am

    I want you to stay
    until this song is half through
    now I wish you’d leave

  48. Trailer
    December 6, 2008 at 11:00 am

    Do not tell my heart
    My achy and breaky heart
    Or I will line dance

  49. Jaime
    December 6, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    Earl was an asshole
    And so now that he is dead
    Want to try the jam?

  50. Jaime
    December 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    Ol’ Red, man’s best friend
    Where the hell did he run to?
    Memo: get him fixed

  51. Peter
    December 9, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    I am a pirate
    Better as a memory
    My homies agree

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