Trace Adkins – “Brown Chicken Brown Cow”
Have you ever thought to yourself that country radio needs more porno music? You know, like the cheesy, ’70s-style “bow chicka bow wow” that signifies impending sexytime? Trace Adkins’ new single—at #55 on the charts and climbing—is the song for you. It starts out promising, with a cool, plunky banjo intro and some country-rock guitars, but quickly goes downhill.
Here’s the story: Bobby Joe and Betty are a hard working farm couple who, in between slopping hogs and cutting corn, occasionally like to get busy up in the hayloft while their animals “[fight] each other for a front row seat.” The song’s title comes from the spying animals; slur “brown chicken brown cow” a bit and it sounds like “bow chicka bow wow.” The punch line is mildly amusing on first listen, but gets old the second time around. By the third time, it’s nearly intolerable.
Putting Betty and Bobby Joe’s sex life aside, “Brown Chicken Brown Cow” might be one of the weakest songs Adkins has recorded in some time, despite his best efforts to sell the song with his usual country humor; you can almost hear him smirk his way through the lyrics, but it’s just not enough. He’s released far better playful and sexy singles before: “I Left Something Turned On at Home” and “Hot Mama,” are just two. “Brown Chicken Brown Cow” feels like it’s trying too hard to replicate the chart success of “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” a better song which also centers on a lame catchphrase.
Trace has a million-dollar voice; he can do so much better than this ten-cent song.
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