Mini Playlist: Barroom Smackdowns

Juli Thanki | May 12th, 2009

Ah, the bar: location of our greatest triumphs, and more often than not, our most embarrassing downfalls. Luckily, embarrassing downfalls are always more palatable when they happen to somebody else. After all, we can’t all be smooth like George Strait in “The Chair” or as sultry as Alison Krauss’ “Let Me Touch You For A While.” So give a listen to these songs and revel in the sweet, sweet schadenfreude. Just remember: What goes around, comes around.

  • Those Poor Bastards - Hellfire Hymns 5. “The Hellbound Train” – Those Poor Bastards
    The gothic country duo tackles the classic poem/folksong about a drunkard who falls asleep on the pub’s floor and dreams of the horrific Hellbound Train. Being sentenced to eternal damnation is probably the worst barroom smackdown possible, but this song is ever so catchy.
  • Aaron Tippin - People Like Us 4. “Kiss This” – Aaron Tippin
    Told from the perspective of the bartender, a gal delivers the smackdown to her cheating man in a crowded bar. The song was actually co-written by Tippin and his wife, Thea. Hmm…
  • Robbie Fulks - Georgia Hard 3. “I’m Gonna Take You Home (And Make You Like Me)” – Robbie Fulks
    This fella gets so drunk he doesn’t know the woman he’s shamelessly hitting on…is his wife. Hoo boy. Fulks’ duet partner is actually real life wife Donna.
  • Lorrie Morgan - Super Hits 2. “What Part of No” – Lorrie Morgan
    This one is Morgan’s best known hits, not to mention one of the most memorable songs of the ’90s. Rarely has a smackdown sounded sweeter.
  • Brad Paisley - Who Needs Pictures 1. “Me Neither” – Brad Paisley
    Hilarious, one-sided dialogue delivered with Paisley’s trademark self-deprecating charm. It’s hard to imagine a girl who could turn Brad down, but considering that “Me Neither” is one of only two Paisley singles to miss the Top 10 (it peaked at #18), it seems that quite a few ladies–and dudes–passed this one up.

Listen to this playlist on Rhapsody

  1. Nicolas
    May 12, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    Aw, no “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”? I love that song!

  2. Baron Lane
    May 12, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    I knew when I saw Those Poor Bastards and Robbie Fulks that this had to be Juli’s piece. Nice work!

  3. Leeann Ward
    May 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Ditto to what Baron said.

  4. Trailer
    May 12, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Nice variety. If I’m being honest here, TPB kinda scare me.

  5. Ron
    May 12, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    Glad to see Robbie Fulks get some mention here. I really like him and he always puts on an enjoyable live show.

  6. Chris
    May 13, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Great list, but how about an honorable mention for “Numbers” by Bobby Bare. Talk about a smackdown . . . the ten/two really tears him a new one.

  7. J.R. Journey
    May 13, 2009 at 11:29 am

    I’m gonna have to check out 3 and 5. Solid and diverse list too = I like it.

  8. Aaron
    May 13, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    What about “The Winner” by, I think, Bobby Bare or how about “Colorado Kool-Aid” by Johnny Paycheck.

  9. J.R. Journey
    May 13, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    I heard ‘Colorado Kool-Aid’ on the radio the other day. I especially love the way he explains what the drink is right after he mentions it. I remember the first time I heard the song and I was thinking ‘what’s Colorado Kool-Aid?’? Great lyric.

  10. Saving Country Music
    May 13, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    Glad to see Those Poor Bastards make the list. Not for everyone, but some very talented folks for sure.

  11. Ben Milam
    May 18, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    wild as a turkey by hayes carll. idiots revenge by the bottle rockets.

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