Mailbag: Who Sponsors John Rich?

Staff | March 14th, 2011

How did Alabama have an impact on Gary Levox?
The biscuits ‘n’ gravy at Bogue’s in Birmingham is life-changing. — C.M.

What does Dave Haywood do?
Who is Dave Haywood? — Karlie

A really good impression of Kix Brooks. — Sam

Why did Chris Gaines flop?
Back in 1999, country fans just weren’t ready to embrace Garth Brooks in guyliner. As bad as it is these days, we’d take him back in a tutu if it meant anything near as country as “Longneck Bottle” on the charts. — C.M.

How to get Kimberly Perry’s pretty hair?
Although I wouldn’t recommend it, it probably involves sneaking on her tour bus in the middle of the night with some shears. — Ken

Why did Crystal Hoyt quit Trailer Choir?
Too many nights of going hungry after Butter beat her to the backstage buffet table. — Sam

Who sponsors John Rich?
Johnny Cash. — C.M.

Why can’t I get a straight answer? I want to know what Kimberly Perry’s, of The Band Perry, favorite color is.
That’s easy. Perrywinkle. — Ken

Why did Aaron Lewis switch to country?
Figured “Well shoot, if Chad Kroeger can do it…” — C.M.

Why aren’t the Dixie Chicks in the Country Music Hall of Fame?
Really, the pioneers who made it possible for an all-female trio to get played on the radio should be inducted first. Here’s hoping 2011 is SHeDAISY’s year. — Sam

“Why Don’t We Just Dance” summary.
Dancing is fun, low voices are sexy. — Karlie

Why hasn’t Sunny Sweeney become a huge star?
No one has forked out the $34.95 at celestialregistry.com yet. — Ken

Why do today’s country singers not pay homage to Garth Brooks?
They’re too busy playing homage to Kid Rock, Beyonce and that guy from Train. — Sam

Why is Jason Aldean singing Brantley Gilbert songs?
Jason Aldean has exceptionally poor taste. — C.M.

Why is the cost of living too high?
Inflation — Ken

Why did Chely Write and Brad Paisley break up?
Brad Paisley fell in love with actress Kimberly Williams after watching her in “Father of the Bride Part II.” So did Chely. — Sam

What is the song “Smoke a Little Smoke” about?
Fire safety. — Karlie

How to get hungry. — Ken

Why did Toby Keith write “Bullets In the Gun?”
He thought we’d all forgotten “The Road Goes On Forever.” We hadn’t. — C.M.

Why did Brad Paisley put cancer in a song?
After Keith Urban put you in a song, Paisley had to break new ground somehow. — Sam

Why aren’t the Dixie Chicks in the Country Music Hall of Fame?
Toby Keith said it was cool. — Ken

How did the JaneDear girls get their name?
Via everything that’s wrong with modern country music. — Karlie

According to reviewers, what is Jason Aldean’s best album?
When he releases it, we’ll let you know. — Sam

The last one. Not My Kinda Party… literally, the last one he ever makes. That’ll be my favorite. — C.M.

What makes Bob holler?
When Denver and the rest of his Gilligan’s Island mates got rescued off the island. — Ken

Who the hell is Mark Wills?
Many people, including Mark Wills, have been trying to figure this one out for a very long time. All we know so far is that he’s definitely not related to Bob. — C.M.

What is the importance of song titles?
Without song titles, you wouldn’t know if the country singer in question is from the sticks, the boondocks, a hicktown or Small Town USA. — Sam

Why didn’t George Strait kiss the girl in Pure Country?
Ursula the Sea Witch sabotaged it. — Ken

Why can’t Kris Kristofferson sing?
He blew a little too hard while Bobby sang the blues. His vocal cords exploded. — C.M.

 

  1. Larry
    April 13, 2011 at 9:57 am

    Yay! A new Mailbag! Fell outta my chair laughing on the Chris Gaines observation. Amen!

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