Justin Moore — “Bait a Hook”

Sam Gazdziak | August 23rd, 2011

justinmooreSongwriters: Rhett Akins, Justin Moore, Jeremy Stover

Admit it, guys: there are times when we men are racked with indecision, hesitation and doubt. We may even stay up at night, pondering the ultimate question: Are we manly enough? Are we masculine enough to, say, be a character in a Justin Moore song? Fear not, because Moore, a man among men, has provided a list of things that men do and do not do. Follow along with “Bait a Hook” to learn how we’re supposed to act.

 

A real man does not:

  • Drink umbrella drinks, unless you put an umbrella in a beer bottle
  • Drive a Prius, because screw the environment
  • Eat sushi or any other kind of world cuisine that can’t be grilled or deep-fried
  • Drive his Prius on the highway instead of taking dirt roads, because only sissies care about gas mileage

Real men, on the other hand:

  • Drink Jack Daniels
  • Hunt
  • Fish
  • Drive pickup trucks
  • Love country music

Basically, if you’re one of them fancy-pants city boys, you won’t be able to keep a woman satisfied once she’s gotten a taste of loving a good ol’ country boy, so drive your little foreign environmentally friendly car up the highway to where you came from.

Yes, this innovative little number is the next evolution of the country music song. It’s not enough to say “I’m country” anymore, and even “I’m country and I’m proud” is played out. We’ve now come to “I’m country, and you suck if you’re not as country as I am.” If there’s one thing the genre was just crying out for, it was class warfare.

It’s a sign of how played out the whole “country pride” segment of country music is when being green is a cause for ridicule. And if you have to know how to field dress a deer to be considered a “real man,” the population of men in this country has dropped exponentially. The only upside is that these types of songs will eventually stop being written, because nobody will be able to meet the increasingly lofty standards of being “country” anymore. Not even Justin Moore.

It’s easy to dismiss one or two songs like this by saying “What’s wrong with a little dopey fun?” But when it seems like every song out there is fighting for the title of “Dumbest of the Year,” there’s a problem. Right now, “Bait a Hook” is the current title-holder. Your move, BOMSHEL.

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  1. [...] mean, other than when you scroll down and read my awesome take on the Dave Clark 5. But this takedown of the whole “Country Boy Can Survive” knock-off genre is pretty damn .... You know I blame Hank Jr. for all this nonsense, but I actually think considering what makes Hank [...]
  2. [...] was some discussion here on Engine 145 last week, sparked by Sam Gazdziak’s comments on the Justin Moore “Bait a Hook” single, and its “dumped and venting guy” lyric that raises—no, presses— the musical question “Is [...]
  1. Ben Foster
    August 23, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Your move, BOMSHEL.

    Excuse me, I just fell out of my chair laughing.

    On a more serious note, I love how you ward off the whole “It’s just a little dopey fun” retort by making the point that just about all we can expect to hear on country radio these days is “a little dopey fun.” It’s a point I’ve attempted to make in my own reviews a time or two. Anyway, loved the review. As for the song… “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” was decent, but Mister Countrier-Than-Thou has definitely lost me again.

  2. J.R. Journey
    August 23, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Following these checkpoints, I am 2 for 2 on the do’s and don’t’s of being a real man. Does that make me Gary LeVox or Wynonna?

  3. Barry Mazor
    August 23, 2011 at 9:38 am

    Real men don’t make lists.

  4. Jon
    August 23, 2011 at 10:00 am

    Real men don’t make lists.

    Unless they start with little baby ducks. Or are of heartaches.

    Maybe the problem is less with the form than with the content.

  5. Andrew
    August 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

    In his defense, Priuses are unmanly.

  6. nm
    August 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

    Where does drinking Dickel fall on this scale? I really, really need to know.

  7. Barry Mazor
    August 23, 2011 at 10:46 am

    I had a g thingy after that list comment, but those don’t appear here. Apparently.

  8. Real Man
    August 23, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Another Peach Picker classic.

  9. Prius Driver
    August 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

    What about fishermen that care about the litter in and around the waters they fish? Isn’t that environmentally conscious?

  10. Jon
    August 23, 2011 at 11:10 am

    I meant to go back and add that I know that Barry knows this already…

  11. Jon
    August 23, 2011 at 11:11 am

    And BTW, NM, drinking Dickel isn’t unmanly, but it is also ladylike – in other words, it’s for everybody. All the time.

  12. Sam G.
    August 23, 2011 at 11:18 am

    In his defense, Priuses are unmanly.

    They should have changed the lyric from “Prius” to “Smart Car.” If there’s one car that everyone from all walks of life can point and laugh at, it’s a Smart Car.

  13. Barry Mazor
    August 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    So, anyway, I need to get this straight, even though I live in the South and love country music. There are, i need to understand better, no men outside of the South; there are no real families who love each other, outside of the South, no real religion or God, outside of the South, no cars, no food or beverages. .. Just checkin’.. KInd of limiting for national or international touring.

  14. Barry Mazor
    August 23, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    One question I can’t decide about this one though: How aware is the narrator here that the central situation in the set-up is simple, and provides the answer–built-in– to all his carrying on: But she WANTS that other guy you’re putting down, ya jerk.

  15. nm
    August 23, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Jon, you relieve my mind no end. Or you would, if I cared about my manliness that much.

  16. Jon
    August 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    Smart car = awesome. Or at least smart. You see them all over Europe, including in that manliest of European countries, Germany, where they’re so manly, the only vegetables they eat are either potatoes or pickled. If I didn’t have to haul a string bass around regularly, I’d be all about the Smart Car.

  17. the pistolero
    August 23, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    (real men don’t) Drink umbrella drinks, unless you put an umbrella in a beer bottle

    Is Justin Moore that insecure about his sexuality?

    And I think there are legitimate reasons to eschew the likes of the Prius. Songs like this only obscure them.

  18. plain_jo
    August 23, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    The simple fact that you see smart cars all over Europe is one GIANT reason never to drive one. LOL

  19. Thomas
    August 23, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    …when the “prius” enters a country song, sung by one of the most prolific backroads-backwoods-bonfires-troubadours of today’s country, the end must be nigher than i thought. i quite enjoy this silly tune, at least, for the little time that remains.

    hard luck for justin moore, given the almost endless period of time that it takes for a song to climb the charts these days – he may be out of time before reaching the top ten.

  20. Jen
    August 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    Apparently “real men” only feel good enough about themselves when a guy writes a song about them. Who knew they were so fragile?

  21. Barry Mazor
    August 23, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Don’t see any reason he should;t mention that car any more or less than one more Ford or Chevy or one more John Deere tractor.. People drive ‘em–now. Apparently, he and his songs writers don’t much like it, but it’s of the moment. You want maybe he mentions the new Desoto?

  22. Rick
    August 23, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Awhile back I was in West L.A. behind a Prius with a sticker in the rear window that read “Another Prius Driving, Starbucks Drinking, NPR Listener Liberal for Obama”. That sticker succinctly summed up everything I dislike about both the Prius and especially the majority of people who drive them! (lol) On the other hand aggressive guys driving lifted pick-ups with big tires are an even bigger annoyance on the congested roads of Socal.

    Oh how I wish these types of songs would just go away…

  23. bambi
    August 23, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Haven’t heard the song yet but lovin’ this review. . .

  24. Andrew
    August 23, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    @Jon: Smart car = horribly impractical when you’re 6’3″ like me.

    Also, I’m curious how many people here know how to properly skin a buck. I don’t, so I guess I’m not a man.

  25. Hoggy from Oz
    August 24, 2011 at 2:58 am

    Cool review.

    I have no problem with Prius’s. I just think they are terribly ugly; as ugly as this song is stupid.

  26. Barry Mazor
    August 24, 2011 at 8:58 am

    It’s hard enough knowing how to properly MAKE a buck..

  27. Jon
    August 24, 2011 at 9:04 am

    @Jon: Smart car = horribly impractical when you’re 6’3″ like me.

    Experience or supposition?

  28. Andrew
    August 24, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Supposition. I’m not sure I could get out of one if I tried to get in.

  29. nm
    August 24, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Oh how I wish these types of songs would just go away…

    Write it down, folks. Rick and I agree about something.

  30. Jon
    August 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    You might be surprised, then.

  31. Ben Foster
    August 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    I’ve never attempted to squeeze myself into a SmartCar, but I do happen to know that the Prius does not like me. (Knees hit dashboard in front – head hits ceiling in back)

  32. Matt Bjorke
    August 24, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    Ben, they’re coming out with a more wagon-like Prius soon, It’s supposed to be for taller folks who want more utilitarian stuff. In fact, Prius is going to be a sub-brand from Toyota like Scion.

  33. Kelly
    August 24, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    You’d think they know that sushi is, you know, fish that has been murdered for the gastronomical enjoyment of mankind…

  34. Bobby Peacock
    August 25, 2011 at 6:05 am

    I can’t hunt because I can’t see for beans and I’m such a klutz I shouldn’t even be allowed to handle a squirt gun. I’m only 5’6″ and I consider myself too big for a Smart Car.

    But I was also the only person on the planet who liked “Backwoods”, so to heck with my opinion.

  35. Chuck
    August 26, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    One major problem, they guy’s name is Justin, how sisy is that? Everybody knows real country men have real country names like Clint, Bocephus, Billy Bob and Rodney. Justin is a name for a girly man.

  36. Adam
    August 31, 2011 at 9:55 am

    This is the worst song on an average album. I can’t believe it’s a single. I like Moore’s voice and the music for most of the songs, but the lyrics are just stupid for the most part.

    I agree that it isn’t very manly to drive a Prius; however, my redneck friend that drives a jacked up pickup truck believes my Ridgeline is not very manly either (he did concede that it’s an upgrade from my Accord).

  37. Josh
    September 1, 2011 at 12:20 am

    I know this is blasphemy, and isn’t really consistent with my tastes… but I like Justin Moore. There, I said it!

    Don’t get me wrong – I can’t STAND these types of songs when they come from Brantley Gilbert, Josh Thompson, Aldean, etc., but Moore is just entertaining to me, in general. He actually comes off as very funny and almost self-denigrating in a twangy, deadpan way when interviewed, so songs like this from him seem more goofy and flippant than chest-pounding to me, I guess (whereas Brantley Gilbert singing something similar would make me want to punch my radio).

    Basically, I don’t mind Moore’s dumb songs… it’s just the 37 similar ones getting burn at any given time that I’d do away with if I could.

  38. Christy
    September 8, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    Okay, Sam, here’s a question….

    I have drunk Jack Daniels
    I’ve skinned a deer.
    I Fish.
    I Love country music

    Does that make me more manly than you? I hope not!

    (For those who don’t know, he married me!)

  39. Christy
    September 8, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    Just to clarify: I almost gagged while listening to this song….all of the requirements are just compensating for something a “real man” should already have!

  40. Sam G.
    September 9, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Christy, we’re tied on the drinking, the fishing and the country music. But I’ll try the funky, exotic sushi that you won’t eat, so that may at least partly cancel out the deer skinning thing.

    If it’s any consolation, I think you’re manlier than Justin Moore.

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