Justin Moore — “Bait a Hook”
Admit it, guys: there are times when we men are racked with indecision, hesitation and doubt. We may even stay up at night, pondering the ultimate question: Are we manly enough? Are we masculine enough to, say, be a character in a Justin Moore song? Fear not, because Moore, a man among men, has provided a list of things that men do and do not do. Follow along with “Bait a Hook” to learn how we’re supposed to act.
A real man does not:
- Drink umbrella drinks, unless you put an umbrella in a beer bottle
- Drive a Prius, because screw the environment
- Eat sushi or any other kind of world cuisine that can’t be grilled or deep-fried
- Drive his Prius on the highway instead of taking dirt roads, because only sissies care about gas mileage
Real men, on the other hand:
- Drink Jack Daniels
- Drive pickup trucks
- Love country music
Basically, if you’re one of them fancy-pants city boys, you won’t be able to keep a woman satisfied once she’s gotten a taste of loving a good ol’ country boy, so drive your little foreign environmentally friendly car up the highway to where you came from.
Yes, this innovative little number is the next evolution of the country music song. It’s not enough to say “I’m country” anymore, and even “I’m country and I’m proud” is played out. We’ve now come to “I’m country, and you suck if you’re not as country as I am.” If there’s one thing the genre was just crying out for, it was class warfare.
It’s a sign of how played out the whole “country pride” segment of country music is when being green is a cause for ridicule. And if you have to know how to field dress a deer to be considered a “real man,” the population of men in this country has dropped exponentially. The only upside is that these types of songs will eventually stop being written, because nobody will be able to meet the increasingly lofty standards of being “country” anymore. Not even Justin Moore.
It’s easy to dismiss one or two songs like this by saying “What’s wrong with a little dopey fun?” But when it seems like every song out there is fighting for the title of “Dumbest of the Year,” there’s a problem. Right now, “Bait a Hook” is the current title-holder. Your move, BOMSHEL.
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