Gary Allan Opens Up To People Magazine About His Wife’s Suicide
Gary Allan’s music is highly esteemed by me, so when I found out that he revealed what happened to his wife for the first time in People magazine I went out and bought a copy. It’s a depressingly detailed account and gives fans a glimpse into what Allan must have been feeling and the effect it had on his music. “He poured out his agony in the studio, resulting in 2005′s heart-wrenchingly personal Tough All Over. ‘It was scary,’ says his close friend and songwriting partner Odie Blackman, ‘seeing him go through it and knowing that the music was some kind of therapy.’”
The article is written in the first person from Gary Allan’s point of view. He starts from the point he met his wife, Angela, for the first time and asked her to marry him in 2000. They moved to Tennessee in 2003 where Angela suffered a lot of allergies which triggered migraines.
Her migraines were so bad that she would black out and have to go lie down. She was depressed, but because the depression seemed to start with the migraines, she never really got properly treated for the depression. She got treated for the migraines.
He then goes on to talk about the night that she died. He says she was physically sick and he had just got home. He ended up taking the kids to a Halloween party and tucked them in bed when they got back. Allan mentions that his wife was acting out of character.
She asked me to check on one of the kids. I said, “I just put them to bed, everyone’s fine. I took care of it all.” She sat there for a minute, and she said, “Would you go get me a Coke? I feel like I’m sick.” So I went into the kitchen and heard a loud pop. It sounded like she had thrown something. I had a gun safe underneath the bed, and she had taken out a pistol, stuck it in her mouth and pulled the trigger. She was on the bed. She was gone.
In the rest of the article he talks about the way life has been since that night. He didn’t do anything for his depression at first, then he found therapy in writing, took an anti-depressant, and went to counseling with his kids. He says “the toughest part is just letting go of the guilt. She never told me she was thinking about killing herself, ever.”
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