Friday Five: Teeth

Juli Thanki | June 11th, 2010

Okay, we’ve all heard lame jokes about hillbillies and their teeth, or lack thereof. It turns out there are more than a few country tunes that mention pearly whites in their lyrics (Lucinda Williams’ “Over Time” and Hank Williams’ “Howlin’ at the Moon” for starters); here are five of the most recent ones.

  • New Dog Old Tricks5. “Baby Teeth” – Susan Gibson

    Here’s a folky little tune offering some motherly wisdom: “Sometimes it hurts to grow/Sometimes it’s such a relief/When you’ve gotta give up whatcha got to get whatcha need/Sometimes you’ve got to wiggle it loose/Sometimes it gets knocked clean out/Makin’ room for a brand new tooth/In that little bitty hole in your mouth.” It’s very sweet, and catchy enough for wee ones to sing along, but if you were a kid who just lost your first tooth, would you rather have a song or some money under your pillow from the Tooth Fairy?

  • Those Darlins4. “Snaggle Tooth Mama” – Those Darlins

    These rowdy, gun-toting, whiskey-swilling, alt-country ladies take a few jabs at hillbilly stereotypes on this matter-of-fact song about a rural woman who “don’t own no shoes” but does possess a “tin roof tan.” Sure, her mouth may not be too pretty but she and her man are just trying to get along the best they know how.

  • Cipher3. “An Introduction to the Power of Braces (Teeth)” – Slim Cessna’s Auto Club

    SCAC’s 2008 album Cipher featured a series of gothic country dirges about the importance of braces. Much like crooked teeth or deformed limbs need straightening, so does one’s faith if it’s bending, so say Slim Cessna and Munly. As such, the final song in the series is titled “An Introduction to the Power of Braces (Faith).”

  • Child of Calamity2. “Pukin’ Blood, Spittin’ Teeth, and Bein’ High” – Pine Box Boys

    This one’s a little mellower than most of the songs recorded by these murder-obsessed Californians. Well, in tempo, not subject matter. It’s about a self-destructive, brokenhearted fella who gets in fight after fight with anyone he can find. Now I’m not one to begrudge someone the occasional bar brawl, but how long can this kind of behavior continue before you’re gumming your bacon at Waffle House the next morning?

  • A Friend Of A Friend1. “Sweet Tooth” – Dave Rawlings Machine

    “Sweet Tooth” is from Rawlings’ 2009 tour de force A Friend of A Friend, but the lyrics—seemingly riffing on “Candyman Blues,” a blues song decidedly not about candy—sound as though they could be lot older. Longtime partners Rawlings and Welch have rarely sounded better together than they do right here.

  1. Dave D.
    June 11, 2010 at 9:32 am

    There certainly were a lot more songs to choose from in the rose category. Given the recent Shel Silverstein tribute, might as well mention The Winner, whose teeth “rolled away like Chiclets down a street in San Antone.”

  2. Michelle
    June 11, 2010 at 9:49 am

    I Don’t Even Know Your Name by Alan Jackson

  3. Nicolas
    June 11, 2010 at 10:03 am

    “Teeth” by Lady Gaga <3 lol

  4. Michael
    June 11, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    I don’t know that GaGa one, but “Teeth” sounds like the title of a Brad Paisley song.

  5. Sam G.
    June 11, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    It’s not very country, but Guy Forsyth, an Austin folk/blues singer, has a great song about the Katrina aftermath in New Orleans called “Teeth” — as in, someone’s been lying through their…

  6. Michelle
    June 12, 2010 at 1:35 am

    “The More I Drink” by Blake Shelton, YEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAW!

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