Friday Five: Bah Humbug
“Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not.
The Grinch hated Christmas — the whole Christmas season.
Oh, please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
But I think that the best reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
-Boris Karloff in the The Grinch That Stole Christmas
If you’re the type of individual that thinks of Black Friday as the first dark day of the holiday season, this double-wide edition of The 9513’s Friday Five is just for you. Perhaps your heart is just two sizes too small. Maybe you’re not into sending holiday cards off to people you barely know, planting a dead conifer in the middle of your living room, or the entire concept of giving Snuggies as gifts. You may even have secretly hoped that Ralphie had shot his eye out with his Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock.
Or perhaps you’re just a big country music fan–a genre where all too often, bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people too, but after all, it’s Christmas. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re not on the naughty list.
There were so many delicious, not-so-merry Christmas songs, we had to double the size of this week’s Friday Five to a Terrible Ten. Enjoy.
- Ken Morton, Jr.: Another twisted collection of songs to put into the Friday Five Hall of Fame, Juli.
- Arlene: I'd have included "Omie Wise." Doc Watson's is the version I'm familiar with but I think it's been recorded by …
- luckyoldsun: I think the number one country murder ballad is "Frankie and Johnny"--by Jimmie. Also, how about "Delia's Gone" from Harry Belafonte …
- Juli Thanki: Colloquial use of "fantastic" as a synonym for "excellent" dates back to the 1930s. And if it's good enough for …
- Paul W Dennis: I think "Banks of The Ohio", "Miller's Cave" and "It's Nothing to Me" are far creepier than several of the …
- Paul W Dennis: The Hight article is interesting, although I don't know that I would describe it as fantastic, but then I know …
- Dana M: I'm actually excited to hear a new Reba album. As for the Alan Jackson tour, I hope he announces Canadian …
- nm: Agreed. A good job by three very smart women.
- Deremy Jylan: The Hight piece is tremendous reading.
- Juli Thanki: Much like the music of Aldean and FGL, Michelob Ultra is favored by college kids and too much exposure will …