Friday Five: Bah Humbug, Volume 2

Ken Morton, Jr. | November 30th, 2012

Just in case you don’t like your Christmas season as warm and fuzzy as those slippers you received last year from Aunt Frieda and Uncle Milton, we have a solution. Two years ago, back in our The 9513 days, we did a double-wide edition of our Friday Five that included all the songs that really would give you a “Blue Christmas.”  Logically enough, that list included that Ernest Tubb track.  So here we go again, celebrating a list of songs that might just give Santa the blues. What are your favorite depressing Christmas songs?

5. Robert Earl Keen – “Merry Christmas from the Family”

Keen celebrates everything tragically redneck in this terrific song about family dysfunction.

 

4. Toby Keith – “Santa, I’m Right Here” 

Nothing kills that holiday spirit like homelessness.

 

3. Taylor Swift — “Christmases When You Were Mine”

Even when you’re making eleventy gajillion dollars a year, lost love can prove a holiday downer.

 

2. Asleep at the Wheel – “Christmas in Jail” 

Ray Benson and friends celebrated a little too much and got to spend the holy night in deluxe stainless steel accommodations.

 

1. Raul Malo – “A Not So Merry Christmas” 

Malo’s girl broke his heart and he longs for Christmas seasons of years past with her by his side.

Ken Morton, Jr. is a former The 9513 staff writer with his own blog, That Nashville Sound. He also plays concert promoter with his annual Golf & Guitars Children's Charity Concert.

12 Comments

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  1. harriett
    November 30, 2012 at 8:16 am

    Joni Mitchell-”River”

  2. Barry Mazor
    November 30, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Reverend Gates’ “Death Might Be Your Santa Claus” is an excellent party pooper. And John Prine’s “Christmas in Prison” projects a longer stretch than the Wheel’s “Christmas in Jail”. Although, they have turkey and pistols carved out of wood…

  3. Jack Williams
    November 30, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Loudon Wainwright III – Christmas Morning

  4. bll
    November 30, 2012 at 10:21 am

    “Please Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas” from John Denver’s first Christmas album

  5. Arlene
    November 30, 2012 at 10:48 am

    The Pogues and Kirsty McColl’s “Fairy Tale of New York”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwHyuraau4Q

  6. luckyoldsun
    November 30, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Hag’s “If We Can Make It Through December” is one of the classics.

  7. Jon
    November 30, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Ronnie Bowman’s “Merry Christmas, Ho, Ho, Ho” is the lonesomest.

  8. bob
    November 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Aussie Melinda Schneider’s “Wish You Were Here”, written with Michael Carr, is about a first Christmas without a loved one. “Hung the tinsel on the tree tonight, the angel and the colored lights, are just reflections in my tears, my darling, wish you were here”. At the end, “it’s gonna be a sad new year, wish you were here.”

    Accidentalaussie.wordpress.com included it as one of the top depressing Christmas songs. Someone commented that “She had half of the Sydney Opera House in tears when I heard her perform it. Written for her father – what an amazing, powerful and touching tribute to someone she clearly adored.”

    She can be sassy as well as sad. One of her other co-writes was with Elizabeth Cook, “Sometimes It Takes Balls to Be a Woman”.

  9. J.R. Journey
    December 1, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Dolly Parton and Reba McEntire both have Christmas movies that are staples on cable TV – and both movies are on my DVR this week. And between them, they also recorded two of the best sad Christmas songs I can think of: Dolly’s “Hard Candy Christmas” and Reba’s “Santa Claus Is Coming Back to Town”.

  10. MAURO
    December 3, 2012 at 2:18 am

    Jerry Lee Lewis – I Can’t Have a Merry Christmas, Mary (Without You)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1TuxIwuvqY

  11. Dave D.
    December 3, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Commander Cody – Daddy’s Drinking Up Our Christmas

  12. Freda
    December 6, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Check out `Christmas is a pain in the arse` by the Accelerators, there is a YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCxACwG7O0Y great fun!

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